If a person has any desire at all to be a sports official, a thick skin is mandatory. Wearing stripes is not for the faint of heart or the easily offended. Real estate is often the same way.
I know that every call I make is going to be unpopular with about 50% of the participants and fans. I also know that the coach or player that loves me after this call is going to tell me that I stink after the next one. Even at the high school level, kids, coaches and fans live and die with every play. They prepare and work very hard for the chance to win the game. That’s fine by me, as this is the nature of competitive sport. In real estate, people are selling and buying homes. For sellers, the home that they live in, care for, and hope to make money from, is being evaluated by total strangers. For buyers, they want to find a home that they can live in and make memories in for years to come, and they want to make money as well. This means that much is at stake for both sides, and things can get testy at times. This is the nature of residential real estate. The fortitude of the official, the agent, the buyer, or the seller is most tested in those times when the stakes and emotions are high. When confrontation takes place, what matters is the reaction.
I know that if you watch sports on TV, you have seen it every now and then. An official makes a call, or doesn’t make a call, and the camera cuts to a view of a player or coach confronting the official. You can’t always tell what is being said, but chances are, they aren’t discussing the weather or the stock market. Sometimes that discussion ends in an uneventful way, sometimes it ends in a penalty being enforced, and sometimes it ends in an all out Lou Pinella-style dust kicking tantrum (baseball arguments are always the best, I’ll have to talk to Jeff Brown about that one day).
When coaches come off the bench to confront officials, the official has basically three options– 1) Ignore it. 2)Address it. 3)Penalize it.
Before doing any of these things, the first question that needs to be answered is, “is the coach’s gripe legitimate?” Sometimes, officials make mistakes. One strategy for diffusing confrontations is to admit the mistake and just move on. Of course, an official may not want to employ this strategy in the final minute of a tied basketball game, but generally people appreciate when you acknowledge your mistake and promise to work harder to prevent it. When no mistake has been made, the official can either attempt to ignore the coach, address the coach professionally and firmly, or let him say what he has to say and penalize him. Different situations call for different strategies, but these are the basic options.
REALTORS and clients have the same options when it comes to the real estate transaction. Sometimes, people aren’t going to be happy with something that is going on, and they might confront the agent. That agent has a question to answer, and then a decision to make. First, the agent must decide if he made a mistake, and act accordingly. I have made mistakes on the basketball court, and I have made mistakes in real estate. One of the most difficult lessons to learn is to admit those mistakes and work harder to prevent them. No one likes to swallow their pride and say they are sorry, but sometimes it has to be done.
On the flip side of that, when I know that everything I have done is right, I must be confident and secure enough in my decisions to either ignore the offensive action, or address it firmly and professionally. Sometimes this means that I might have to turn away business, but so be it. If an agent bends to the whim and will of every person that raises questions and objections, that agent will have a tough time finding satisfaction in life or business. Potential sellers aren’t always going to like the listing price that is recommended, and buyers aren’t always going to like the homes available to them in the market. Sometimes, they will take this out on the agent, accusing the agent of all kinds of things. That’s fine by me, I don’t have to work with those people.
What applies to referees and REALTORS also applies to buyers and sellers in the real estate market. I was writing a contract for buyer clients of mine recently, when they asked me a question that I hear on just about every contract I write, “Do you think our offer is going to offend the seller?” My standard answer to this question is a very honest, “I have no idea, I am not the seller,” but I have always found this question interesting.
When a seller receives an offer that he finds offensive, he has the same three options. He can either ignore the offer and counter-offer at full price; he can address the offer by entering into a negotiation; or he can penalize the offer by rejecting it completely. First, he must ask himself, “is this offer legitimate?” Just because a seller feels the offer is a “low ball” doesn’t mean that it isn’t legitimate. If a home is getting repeated offers well below the asking price, perhaps the asking price is a bit too high for the current market conditions. These things must be evaluated honestly by the owner and the agent before taking action. Once a decision is made, a seller who has thoroughly evaluated the situation should be able to feel confident and secure in that decision.
Once the seller takes action, it becomes the buyer’s turn to evaluate. If the seller gave a counter-offer of full price, maybe the initial offer should be re-evaluated. If the seller addressed the offer with a different counter-offer, that is a good sign, and negotiations can continue. If the seller rejects the offer completely, then the buyer must decide if they want to change their initial offer, or simply move on to another house. A buyer who has gone through all the proper preparations should be able to feel confident and secure in any decision that he makes.
Real estate, like officiating, is as much about interpersonal relationships as it is about rules or prices. Any time people are involved in situations in which much is at stake, people are bound to offend one another. The most successful agents, buyers, and sellers, like the most successful officials, are the ones who are able to put the initial offenses aside and thoroughly evaluate the task at hand in order to make the best decisions.
